In light of my recent decision to get back in to the Restaurant business, I thought I would post some guidelines for those of you who just may not know restaurant etiquette, or may not know that what you do as a customer pisses your server off.
If you are, or have EVER been a server you'll be able to relate to this. I wrote these while I was young, not a mom and working my ass off to party, after a particularly bad night at The little bull--so we called it-- One of those nights where anything and everything that your customers could to do piss you off had occurred.
And if you have ever seen the movie 'Waiting' you will definitely be taking heed to these following 15
"Guidelines to not being a horrible customer"
1. your waitress has more than one table, which means you're not the only person on your waiter/ waitress' mind
2. you're probably the 300th person that they've talked to in one day
3. Now...take a look around and really try to see whats going on....is the resturant packed? Does the waitress have a table of 8 or more in her section? Its amazing what paying attention to your surroundings can do for you if things might be taking longer than your preferred 3. 5 seconds
4. food's taking a long time? Dont assume your waitress has anything to do with it....i cant make the food for you...
5. Please and thank you (if i think your rude, it makes me want to work not as hard for you) but dont get me wrong......its my job to be polite too.
6. DO NOT wave, snap, shake your empty drink cup, or say "excuse me! waiter!" when you need something, we do have a name, please for the love of god....use it!
7. control your children....unless you want them to get run over by someone carrying a 40 lb tray of 500 degree fajita skillets....
8. split checks? dammnit just use your friggen brain and figure it out yourselves.... are you in a hurry? add 3 mins to you leaving if you want your check split.
9. dont think i can be in 10 different places at the same time... im spectacular but not THAT spectacular....and trust me if i could clone myself in to 10 diff people i would.
10. when we ask you if youre ready to order....we mean READY. not "yeah we're ready" now lets sit here for 10 mins and go back and forth....i DO NOT have time to sit and wait.
11. If you have to be somewhere in 30 mins. dont think you can come in and tell me you absolutly HAVE to be somewhere in 30 mins.....and i need to be able to get you out of here in that time....2 words..... burger king.
12. READ THE MENU....no i mean actually read it.....dont order the pasilla chile AND cheese quesadilla, and then get mad cause it has more than just cheese it it.....
13. GOD...dont ask to have the airconditioning turned down....bring a sweater and consider the fact that you dont want us sweating on you!
14. Please do ask for everything all at once...as much as i like to hual ass for 11 miles (literally) inside of the resurant, it makes things much easier if i dont have to get you something everytime i get back with the thing you asked for previously.
15. tips.....very important....15%....very easy....double the tax....did i do some extra work? leave me extra. did i do a shitty job? leave me less....but think about the things on this list while doing it, and that tips are a waitress' main source of income...its minimum wage hourly for us.
