I've been thinking... Seems like all I've had to do is think.... These three days have been the longest three I've had in forever... I now realize that my job allowed me to not think.. it enabled me to put my problems on the back burner-- to be able to forget those ugly little issues that try to slip back into my brain when I constantly and most of the time successfully keep them locked out.
Thinking is a dangerous thing... often times my mind is not a great place to take a trip. Thinking means I have to confront my own dysfuntion, my fears, my lack of stregnth, complete and total lack of social skills...and even worse the mistakes I've made.
And it's becoming apparent that I am not happy. I don't know how to get to "happy".
I have not fully known "happy" in years.... And I've been struggling to get there.
I mean what does "happy" mean? Is it having things? Money, friends, good looks....
Someone to be with? Places to go or things to do??
I have a beautiful son, and handful of really great friends, and mom that rocks my socks off...great family, a roof over my head, and a car...I have it better than most single moms, and yet I feel like I just can't get myself to that place--- MY happy place.
I want to find my Happy place. I've been putting others before me for a very long time now, having a child just does that to you.... loving someone that much makes it easy to want them to be so taken care of that you forget about the one person you should be taking care of first. YOU. In order for me to take care of others I HAVE to take care of myself... I don't even know how to do this.... do I get instructions??? Can someone please just tell me how to take care of sarah???
Enlighten me please???
Revisiting Turkey Pomodoro
16 hours ago








