Monday, May 24, 2010

Super Human Mommy Powers



I don't know if you, reader, were aware but, us mommies have super human powers...that's right...I'm SUPER human. When you become a mom all kinds of cool things happen...you suddenly, from the moment you find out you're preggers, gain all sorts of special powers. A few of them being:

1. Enhanced sense of smell.... believe me, you definitely get to experience this one when you're pregnant....I could sniff out a wet towel from a pile of clothes like no bodies business...and then comes post preggo enhanced smell....you get to test out your new smell abilities plenty...your nose is graced with a plethora scents as you go along...poop, puke, formula. Pees and carrots never smelled the same after getting a whiff of Gerber's culinary expertise.

2. Super sonic hearing... I can hear my son breathing wrong from 3 rooms away. My ears perk up when my son so much as squeaks from across a play ground. I plan on putting this into a little more use when Trevor is a teenager...now I know why my mom always knew when I snuck out.

3. Basket ball player aim...I can shoot 3 pointers into a plastic bucket with Hot Wheels cars all day....I just pump 'em right out...oh, and I have a fantastic arch. Makes for a fun clean-up. Shaq aint got nothin' on me!

4. Quick like a bunny in a forest fiyah reflexes...I got hit in the side of the head with a flying golf ball before I had really honed in on this special power...now I catch all kinds of air bound objects with ease.

5. Muscles.... I have the arms of a line backer...stick a kid on my hip and I can use my "man" muscles for hours. These come especially in handy when you have a passed out completely limp 40 pounds to lug tote out of the car.

6. Amazing healing powers....dude. I can kiss the pain right out of a boo boo...and my hugs stop tears almost automatically. Booyah.

7. Eagle eyes..... despite the fact that I am blinder than a bat with out my glasses, I would still be able to spot my kiddo almost right away...in a crowd....all wearing the same color.... its like I have a built in radar screen.

8. Anti gag mechanism.... I can do all sorts of things with out getting grossed out... I changed diapers from some of the nastiest contents you could possibly imagine with out even gagging... puke? NOTHIN. Snot smeared on my shoulder. Not even a flinch. Seriously. I. am. immune.

9. Speeeeeeed.... I can do a multitude of things PDQ. Whip up breakfast in 10 mins flat.  Change a diaper in under a minute. Get a squirmy toddler dressed and ready in lightening speed. Did you see that??!! That was me zooming by with a juice box and a PB and J sandwich ready for consumption in 10 seconds.

10. Miraculous multitasking.... please excuse me...I'm getting dressed, feeding my child, putting on my makeup, doing laundry, fixing a boo boo, giving kisses (and hugs) working, playing cars and picking up toys all at the same time... I'll be able to talk as soon as I free up my mouth.


       These are just a few. I'm sure there are others, but you know....I don't want to give away any mommy secrets.

If you're a mommy, what super human powers to YOU have?

12 comments:

Miss Angie said...

Awesome!

Kori said...

The old eyes in the back of the head thingy; I got that one down, for sure. Though I have to laugh at the no more gag reflex one; I can be puked on, shit on, have snot wiped all over me, whatever, but drool? Creeps.Me. Out. And it doesn't even have a smell.

See Mom Smile said...

I can blog AND ignore housework at the same time!!

The Drama Mama said...

I can stop a fight between siblings with just one glare from my eyes.

By the way, I LOVE this post!

MommyLovesStilettos said...

Love it!!! :)

Jimmy said...

I have been saved, busted, scolded, fed, fixed, hugged, and most of all Loved by these Super Human Mommy Powers, not sure how you ladies do it but we are all blessed to have ya!!!!

Lourie said...

Our powers are truly amazing aren't they? Haha. And don't forget the all powerful, "Mom-Spit" haha.

Susan said...

I have enjoyed my tour through your blog. I think mothers have to be blessed with some powers to survive don't you. I have also enjoyed the music I am listening to. I wish I knew how to put music on my site. My computer skills are very mediocre. Thank you for letting me visit.
Susan
http://amazingcouponanddiscountdeals.blogspot.com
http://joininandgogreen.blogspot.com

dusty earth mother said...

This was awesome, Sarah!

Jessica Warrick said...

hi im sending you a blogger award at my blog.

Natalie said...

Great list! I remember when my first child was born, my niece asked me if I was going to grow eyes in the back of my head now that I was a mom. I told her of course ;)

Ian said...

I ain't no mommy but I loved this post - awesome yo!

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